Mindfulness-based
Couples Therapy
and
Marriage Counseling
in Oregon ,Washington, and Illinois
Helping you navigate your relationship struggles, so you can regain the connection and feel good together.
Do We Need Marriage Counseling or Couples Therapy?
You are fighting a lot. Even simple conversation seems to be difficult. You are short with each other and feeling frustrated. It is like you just can’t understand each other. Maybe you’ve tried talking through it on your own but it feels like a mediocre result at best and nothing truly gets resolved. When you don’t talk, it feels like you are drifting apart. You feel unheard and unseen, you feel disconnected. You are wondering: Where did it go wrong? Sometimes there are even moments where you are unsure if you should stay in this relationship. You feel overwhelmed, stuck, and lost.
With Mindfulness-based Relational Couples therapy, I will help you break the detrimental relationship dynamic and rebuild a healthy foundation so that you can enjoy your relationship and be each other’s best friend again.
Signs You Could Benefit From Couples
Therapy or Marriage Counseling
Consider seeking help if:
you find that your conversations often become arguments, or if you feel like you're talking but not really communicating. Effective communication is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship.
you start feeling more like roommates than romantic partners. The warmth and closeness that once defined your relationship may seem like a distant memory, replaced by a cool detachment.
you're facing a major life event, such as the loss of a job or a loved one, moving to a new house, or welcoming a new baby. These transitions make you feel thrown off from your normal routines and interactions.
there has been infidelity in the relationship and you found yourself second-guessing your partner’s actions or feeling uneasy about their loyalty. You find yourself eplaying arguments and feelings of betrayal over and over again.
You or your partner have noticed a change in sexual desire or intimacy, feeling disconnected or dissatisfied with the physical aspect of your relationship. or when one of you begins to feel like physical intimacy is a chore or something that’s lacking. You might find yourselves avoiding the topic altogether, feeling unfulfilled and disconnected.
You or your partner are keeping secrets, whether they're small and seemingly insignificant or bigger and more consequential. You feel like you can't trust each other and start to question the foundation of your relationship.
Hello, We are here, the Marriage Counselors
We are a group of licensed Marriage and Family Therapists and we specialize in working with couples from all walks of life &identities on issues around communication, connection, and intimacy.
Through mindfulness-based relational therapy, we will help you stop fighting, rebuild trust, and feel truly heard and seen by your partner so that you can feel confident and connected in your relationship.
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Couples therapy and marriage counseling offer a safe space for you and your partner to share your feelings and work through issues together. This supportive environment fosters trust and encourages vulnerability, which are essential for healing. A therapist helps you explore the root causes of your problems—whether it’s communication breakdowns, emotional distancing, or trust issues—leading to increased self-awareness and a deeper understanding of each other's perspectives.
By identifying and addressing negative relationship patterns like defensiveness, criticism, and stonewalling, you can foster healthier and more empathetic interactions. Therapy also provides an opportunity to explore intimacy and comfort in your relationship, uncovering hidden needs and vulnerabilities. This process helps rekindle your emotional connection, leading to a renewed sense of closeness and a stronger bond.
Additionally, online couples therapy and marriage counseling offer the convenience of being able to attend sessions from the comfort of your own home. This can be especially beneficial for busy couples or those who may have difficulty finding time for in-person therapy due to conflicting schedules. It also removes any potential barriers such as transportation or childcare, making it more accessible for all.
Specialties
At Spark Relational Counseling, we believe in the transformative power of tailored therapeutic techniques to foster trust and understanding in relationships. Here’s a closer look at each specialty we offer and why they are essential.
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Effective communication forms the bedrock of any healthy relationship. Imagine juggling demanding jobs and home life, leading to misunderstandings that leave you feeling unheard and exhausted. Research published in the Journal of Marriage and Family indicates that effective communication is crucial for marital satisfaction and stability1Poor communication can lead to unresolved issues and escalating conflicts. With marriage and couples therapy, we help you learn active listening and effective communication, leaving you more hopeful and better equipped to handle conversations constructively.
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The emotional bond between partners plays a vital role in the health of a relationship. However, it is not uncommon for many couples to struggle with maintaining or rekindling their emotional connection over time. When you feel emotionally disconnected, you might experience a sense of isolation even while being physically present with your partner. Emotional disconnection often leads to feelings of neglect and dissatisfaction. Marriage counseling and online therapy provide a safe space to explore underlying emotions and vulnerabilities hindering your closeness. Through empathy-building exercises and guidance from therapists, you can strengthen your emotional connection and reignite the spark in your relationship.
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Interracial and intercultural relationships bring unique challenges as partners navigate different cultural backgrounds, values, and beliefs. These differences can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts if not addressed effectively. Therapy for interracial or intercultural couples offers a safe platform to discuss sensitive topics and work through any cultural barriers that may be affecting the relationship. Therapists help partners understand each other's perspectives and support them in finding common ground while embracing their diversity.
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For many couples, planning to start a family is an exciting and joyous time. However, it can be a source of stress and strain on the relationship for some. Infertility or struggles with conceiving can cause emotional distress and put a strain on intimacy between partners. Marriage counseling provides a supportive environment to express feelings, cope with stressors, and make informed decisions about family planning options. The Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics & Gynecology highlights that psychological support during infertility treatments improves relationship satisfaction and coping mechanisms A trained marriage family therapist can also help couples navigate the emotional impact of infertility and support them in finding ways to strengthen their bond during this challenging time.
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For many couples, planning to start a family is an exciting and joyous time. However, it can be a source of stress and strain on the relationship for some. Infertility or struggles with conceiving can cause emotional distress and put a strain on intimacy between partners. Marriage counseling provides a supportive environment to express feelings, cope with stressors, and make informed decisions about family planning options. The Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics & Gynecology highlights that psychological support during infertility treatments improves relationship satisfaction and coping mechanisms A trained marriage family therapist can also help couples navigate the emotional impact of infertility and support them in finding ways to strengthen their bond during this challenging time.
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Physical and emotional intimacy are crucial for maintaining a deep bond. You might feel a growing distance despite loving each other deeply. A lack of intimacy can result in feelings of loneliness and disconnection. Marriage counseling can provide a safe space to explore these issues and help partners communicate your needs and feelings in a way that feels okay. It also allows you to identify any underlying factors contributing to the decline in physical intimacy and work on solutions together. By addressing these challenges as a team, you can strengthen your emotional connection and enhance your physical intimacy.
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Every couple is unique, and so are the challenges they face. Same-sex couples, couples in the kink community, or any other nontraditional couples may face unique societal pressures and challenges in the relationship. You might find yourself feeling guilty, confused, or alone. By providing a supportive, non-judgmental space, Marriage counseling helps you discuss any challenges you may be facing and work on safely strengthening your unique bond. Together, you can navigate any external pressures and build a strong foundation for your relationship while feeling seen and understood.
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Trust is the foundation of any successful relationship. If trust has been broken, it can be challenging to rebuild. Whether it's infidelity or other breaches of trust, marriage counseling offers a safe space to address these issues and work towards healing together. A therapist can help you understand the root causes of the trust issues and guide you through rebuilding trust through open communication, forgiveness, and establishing healthy boundaries. With commitment and effort from both partners, trust can be repaired and strengthened. For more information on our specialty in rebuilding trust, check out our affair recovery page.
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Preparing for marriage involves building a strong foundation for the years ahead. Whether you're engaged for the first time or ready to start a second marriage, you want to make sure you avoid the pitfalls you’ve seen in others’ marriages. Entering a marriage without aligning on key issues can lead to early marital strife and unmet expectations. Premarital counseling can help couples prepare for the journey ahead by discussing important topics such as communication, conflict resolution, financial management, and more. This form of therapy helps you establish healthy patterns and address any potential issues before they become larger problems in your marriage. By investing in premarital counseling, you can feel more confident in starting your married life with clarity and ease. For more information on our specialty in Premarital counseling, check out our Online Premarital Counseling page.
Spark Relational Counseling’s Approach to Couples Therapy
At Spark Relational Counseling, we use therapeutic techniques that are proven to help couples transform their relationships. When working with me, we start by fostering a welcoming, trustworthy space. From this safe space, we begin to work on your relationship. After a thorough inquiry about what you hope to accomplish, we begin our work right away.
Goals of Marriage Counseling
In addition to being an empathetic listener, I engage myself actively in the process offering encouragement, support, and guidance towards exploration and transformation. I do so by teaching you effective communication skills at the first session and helping you practice them right away so that you can leave the first session feeling a bit better and more hopeful.
In addition to skills teaching, I will provide helpful psycho-education to help you gain more knowledge around how to make your relationship stronger. Our work together also includes me slowing you down and inviting you to attune to your wants and needs. By talking about some of the events/things in your relationship that bring difficulties, I invite us to take a closer look at how you show up at those moments and make sense of how your behavior impacts each other in the process. From that inviting space, I will help you talk about your experience in a non-attacking, non-demanding way so that you can begin to relate to each other in a nurturing and heartfelt way.
Positive Change
Together, we walk on the path to a long-lasting change by empowering you to shift from defensiveness to openness and teaching you important techniques to engage in important conversations that help you feel connected and seen, or to decide if it is time to move on.
Common Questions Around Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling
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When seeking marriage counseling, it's important to find a therapist who specializes in working with couples. Look for therapists who have experience and training in relationship and marriage therapy. Additionally, consider their approach and make sure it aligns with your needs and values as a couple. It's also beneficial to find a therapist who has experience in working with the specific issues you and your partner are facing. For example, if you and your partner struggle with communication, look for a therapist with experience teaching communication techniques. Overall, it's important to find a therapist you both feel comfortable working with and can provide tailored support for your relationship.
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he most effective form of couples therapy varies depending on the specific needs and goals of each couple. Some common forms of couples therapy include Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the Gottman Method, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). These approaches all have evidence-based techniques and strategies that have been shown to be successful in improving couples' relationships. However, the most effective form of therapy for your relationship will depend on your unique needs and dynamics as a couple. It's important to discuss potential approaches with your therapist and find one that fits best for you both.
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The success rate of marriages after counseling varies and is dependent on a variety of factors. According to a study conducted by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, 98% of couples reported receiving good or excellent therapy, and 97% said they got the help they needed. Additionally, another study found that couples who participated in marriage counseling had an 80% chance of staying together long-term. However, it's important to note that the success of marriage counseling depends on both partners being committed to the process and actively working towards improving their relationship.
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Virtual couples therapy, also known as online couples therapy, can be a valuable and effective form of therapy for many couples. While it may not be the best fit for every couple, there are several benefits to virtual therapy that make it worth considering. These include convenience and flexibility in scheduling, the ability to access therapy from the comfort of your own home, and potentially lower costs compared to in-person sessions. Additionally, research has shown that virtual therapy can be just as effective as traditional in-person therapy. Ultimately, whether or not virtual couples therapy is worth it will depend on your individual needs and preferences.
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It's natural to have doubts or reservations about whether marriage counseling will work for your relationship. The truth is, there's no guarantee that it will be successful for every couple. However, with the right therapist and a willingness to actively participate in the process, marriage counseling can be incredibly beneficial for couples experiencing challenges in their relationship. It provides a safe and supportive space for open communication and problem-solving, as well as valuable insights and tools to improve communication and strengthen the relationship. Ultimately, the success of marriage counseling depends on both partners' commitment and effort towards making positive changes in their relationship.
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A marriage therapist is a trained and licensed mental health professional who specializes in helping couples improve their relationship. They use various therapeutic approaches to address conflicts, improve communication, and strengthen the bond between partners. A marriage therapist may also provide individual counseling to each partner to work through personal issues that may be affecting the relationship. They serve as an unbiased observer and guide for couples seeking to repair or enhance their relationship. Marriage therapists can also help couples create healthy boundaries, set realistic expectations, and develop effective problem-solving strategies. Ultimately, their goal is to support the couple in building a strong and fulfilling partnership.
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Couples therapy can help rekindle love in a relationship by addressing underlying issues and improving communication and understanding between partners. Often, when a relationship is struggling, it's because of unresolved conflicts or unmet needs. Through therapy, couples can work through these issues and learn how to support better and connect with each other. This can lead to a renewed sense of love and intimacy within the relationship. However, it's important to keep in mind that bringing back love takes effort from both individuals, and therapy cannot guarantee a successful outcome for every couple. It's ultimately up to the couple to put in the work and make positive changes to revive their love.
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Couples therapy can help repair a broken relationship, but it is not a magic fix. The success of marriage counseling depends on the dedication and effort put in by both partners. Therapy can provide a safe and supportive space for couples to address underlying issues, develop healthier communication patterns, and learn effective conflict resolution skills. However, it also requires commitment from both individuals to actively listen, understand each other's perspectives, and make necessary changes for the betterment of their relationship. With the guidance of a trained therapist and mutual determination from both partners, couples therapy can work towards rebuilding trust, rekindling love, and ultimately saving a broken relationship.
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While there is no guarantee that marriage counseling will save every relationship, it has been found to be effective in improving and even saving many relationships. The success of couples counseling depends on various factors, such as the willingness of both partners to actively participate in therapy, the skills and approach of the therapist, and the underlying issues within the relationship. Through open communication and a commitment to making positive changes, couples can work towards rebuilding trust, strengthening their bond, and improving their overall relationship through marriage counseling. However, it's essential to note that not all relationships can or should be saved through therapy. In some cases, separation or divorce may be the healthiest option for both individuals involved. Ultimately, the outcome of couples counseling will depend on the unique circumstances and dynamics of each relationship.
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The duration of marriage counseling can vary greatly depending on the specific needs and progress of each couple. Some couples may only need a few sessions to address current challenges, while others may benefit from longer-term therapy to work through deeper issues and improve their overall relationship. On average, most couples attend 12-24 sessions in marriage counseling, but this can differ based on individual circumstances. The length of time in marriage counseling is ultimately determined by the goals and progress of the couple, as well as their therapist's recommendations. Couples need to communicate openly with their therapist about their expectations and goals for therapy to ensure they are
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Step 1.
Fill out the contact form and choose a good call-back time.
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Step 2.
Hear back from us within 24-48 hours (except for weekends and holidays).
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Step 3.
Begin improving your communication and find your way back to each other.
What Past Clients Say:
“My partner and I worked with May for about a year and a half. She was a terrific therapist straight from the jump. She demonstrated tremendous empathy, thoughtfulness, and patience during our sessions. May was able to help my girlfriend and I sift through conflicts and address their root causes. She had great instinct for knowing when to push and when to hold back, always allowing us to arrive at our own discovery. Also showed great professionalism when it was time to take the training wheels off and try things without her. Would definitely recommend!”
——Derek and Jane
Experience a New Way of Relating & Rebuild Your Connection Now
Other mental health services offered at Spark Relational Counseling
Couples therapy can be a valuable resource for your relationship need. In addition, we understand your needs for support don’t usually fit into one box. At Spark Relational Counseling, we offer a variety of mental health services. For individuals with struggles in anxiety, we offer anxiety treatment at our Portland anxiety clinic. For individuals with immigrant parents, and/or trans-racially adopted adults, we offer culturally sensitive individual counseling helping you address issues around identity and culture. For professionals, working women with concerns around dating and intimacy, we offer individual therapy for loneliness (dating therapy, for example) that helps you feel more confident in building a strong romantic relationship. Additionally, we specialize in premarital counseling and affair recovery therapy. Whatever your mental health needs may be, we are here to help.